The best sports team ever is the 2016 Cleveland Cavaliers. Here's my evaluation of every single player and playoff series. I have a lot of time on my hands.
Matthew Dellavedova (PG)
I LOVE DELLY. Always in the right place and and provided excellent facilitation to the scorers.
Channing Frye (C)
Great locker room presence, the life of the squad. Provided veteran leadership for the admittedly sparse young guys.
Joe Harris (SG/SF)
This was before he was good. Just sort of whatever. Made threes occasionally.
Kyrie Irving (PG)
The very best year of Kyrie basketball, except for maybe 19-20. He was able to be a sidekick playing at a star level.
LeBron James (Every position)
Also the best year of LeBron basketball. He stepped up and brought it this year, especially in the playoffs. The second to last year of true LeBron dominance.
Richard Jefferson (SF)
The other cool vet, except he still had skills. Was a nice boost off the bench, and super smart.
Kevin Love (PF)
Every time he throws an outlet pass I piss myself. The perfect power forward to compliment the play styles of the true stars.
Timofey Mozgov (C)
This dude was a total loser as well as complete and utter dumbass, yet I adore him. Look at pictures of him it's like he's falling asleep in-game.
Iman Shumpert (SG)
Best hair on the team, and the only good guard defender. He's so cool.
J.R. Smith (SG)
This was a season before that NBA Finals Game 1 whoopsie, so he was in his absolute peak. What a fucking closer.
Tristan Thompson (PF/C)
So glad he's on the Celtics now. Does everything you could ask for. Only downside is that he's a little undersized for a dude forced into a center spot.
Anderson Varejão (PF/C)
The brazilian bombshell. Maybe my favorite player ever.
Mo Williams (PG)
Just an average role player point guard.
CAVALIERS vs PISTONS (SWEEP)
This series was sooooo boring. Easy sweep for the Cavs. Basically a LeBron/Kyrie highlight reel. Some of these games were actually somewhat close, but the Pistons lost 'em all anyway so.
CAVALIERS vs HAWKS (SWEEP)
Another Cavs sweep. This was basically a slightly more exciting version of the last series, because the Hawks are actually ok. They surprisingly won 48 games, but then lost four in a row to my precious Cavaliers.
CAVALIERS vs RAPTORS (CAVS IN 6)
The Raps won two in a row at home, which made Bron kick it into high gear and BEAT THE 6 IN 6!!!!
CAVALIERS vs WARRIORS (CAVS in 7)
The greatest playoff series to ever be played. The only 3-1 comeback in finals history, and the Cavs deserved it. Game 7 was incredible, the fourth quarter being my favorite sports moment collection ever.
Alright, I gotta bounce now because Winston is about to propose in New Girl and I wanna pay attention. But for real, I love these basketballin' sluts.
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